Listening to What is Said

When working with young children who are grieving, it is easy for us as adults to not hear what is being said.  Unintentionally we fill up the space with our own words, hoping that what we say will be large enough to take away their hurt.  What we miss, however, are their important messages that tell us exactly what they need.  Below are some ideas of ways we can better understand how to listen.

Simple Guidelines at a Glance

Be Honest:

To the best of your ability and according to what the child’s environment represents

With their own means of Communication:

Be prepared to offer different ways for children to express themselves.  Crayons, markers, paints, books with lots of pictures, stickers….all could be used for the same “Memories” activity.

On their Developmental Level:

Be careful not to put children into a box because of their chronological age.  Observe instead how they react and interact, allowing them to be the individuals that they are.

Myths about Grieving Children

v     Children are too young to grieve.

v     Children are too young to understand death.

v     Children are resilient and do not grieve.

v     When children are playing, it means that they are “over”

         the death.

v     Children should NEVER go to a funeral.

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